Posted in books, mental health, social media

dear brain, what the fuck?

my brain just doesn’t want to focus on anything stimulating right now. i have books to read, i have PLENTY of books in my to read list, but i can’t seem to stay engaged.

going along with this, i don’t even have the patience for television; unless it’s dvr’d (is that a word? i feel like that’s a word.) and i can skip through the commercials. but that takes way more engagement than most television is worth. there are, of course, exceptions to that – broadchurch is fucking awesome and, well, that’s about it right now.

there’s nothing i can point a finger at and say, “that’s it! there’s the culprit!” i just can’t seem to stay engaged. it’s like my brain is just sitting up there, perched in my skull, saying, “bored now,” and anyone who’s ever watched buffy knows how that’s going to end — with blood and screaming and poor sandy being turned into a vampire (don’t ask, just go watch dopplegangland again) so that she can come back and try to seduce riley in season four.

maybe i’m reading too much. is that even a possibility? maybe i’ve turned my brain to mush by having the same reruns of the same shows on in the background whenever i’m working on things on my laptop. maybe candy crush saga has sapped my brain’s will to live with its refusal to let me get even ONE FUCKING STAR on level 56 even though i’ve been there for THREE FUCKING MONTHS. not that i’m bitter or anything. (and screw you candy girl who cries every single time i fail the level. bitch.)

in the meantime, i’m currently supposed to be reading four books (one of which i started in august) and the thought of even opening my nook is making me a little nauseous. even the thought of listening to an audiobook doesn’t fill me with thoughts of puppies and rainbows and …

oh! i just remembered! the hyperbole and a half book comes out in october! i must read ALL THE BOOKS so i can read that one!

fuck. i’ve done it again, haven’t i?

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